


That Love Potion Ray Gun Thing

by Juniper11



Category: Justice League - All Media Types, Naruto
Genre: Adorkable, And she's paranoid, Bad Seduction, Because then She'd Be a Bad Cousin, Crossover Pairings, Diana Needs to Mind Her Business, F/M, He likes her, He's Bad at Showing It, Ignoring the Obvious, Love Potion/Spell, Puts Some Clothes on Clark, Romance, Sakura Keeps Doing Stuff, Sakura Needs to Keep Her Thoughts Under Control, She Won't, She likes him, That's Just Not Right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 09:06:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15530907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juniper11/pseuds/Juniper11
Summary: He did not like her.  Sakura had to keep telling herself that.  -Don't attackz teh Supermanz-





	That Love Potion Ray Gun Thing

**Author's Note:**

> lol. I don't even know.

 “No, Di.  You can’t do this to me.”  Sakura saw Diana’s amusement and groaned.  “The guy _hates_ me, Diana.  When all of this is over, he’ll hate me even _more._ ”

“Superman doesn’t hate you.  That’s not his nature.”

“Explain the death glares of doom and destruction then.”

Diana blinked innocently.  “You mean his heat vision?”

Sakura snorted but then stopped herself.  “You are not funny Diana.”

“I’m hilarious.”  She disagreed, and Sakura couldn’t stop herself from laughing that time. 

“Diana, please.  I’ll go with Batman.  I promise we will work as fast as we can—”

“If you leave Sakura, he’ll follow you.  You’re the one he’s infatuated with right now.”

Sakura groaned and sprawled out awkwardly on the floor at the reminder.  “I’m going to _die.”_

Diana leaned down and patted her comfortingly on the shoulder.  “You’ll be fine.”

❀❀❀

Sakura Haruno was Diana Prince’s cousin—although that wasn’t a fact that Sakura discovered until later in life.  She was the daughter of Antiope, sister of the Queen of Amazons, but the woman had given her daughter up when someone sought to claim her life.  Antiope hadn’t been sure she would survive the threats to her life and hadn’t been convinced that whoever wanted her dead wouldn’t go after her daughter as well. 

She had given her daughter to a woman she had found on Paradise Island.  She had washed ashore and had confided in her that she had left her husband because she couldn’t provide him with a child.  She had conferred with her sister Hippolyta, and the lasso of truth was used on the woman, in secret, to ascertain if the woman’s words were true. 

They were. 

Antiope had sent the woman back to her husband with her daughter in her arms and begged her to raise her daughter as her own.  The woman had taken one look at her daughter’s face and agreed. 

That woman’s name was Mebuki Haruno.  Later in life, that woman encouraged her daughter, who she called Sakura, to leave Konohagakure before anyone discovered the real reason why she didn’t appear to be aging.

✿✿✿

None of that clarified why Superman _hated_ Sakura.  It did explain why Sakura had a harder time living in ‘man’s world’ as Diana called it.  Sakura was raised as a ninja deep in Antarctica.  No one in man’s world had even known that life there existed there because ninja were a stealthy bunch and a lot of jutsu had been laid to keep it that way.

Only a ninja could get in and out of the place and live to tell the tale. 

Being raised as a ninja, Sakura had strong thoughts on the enemy and what should be done with them.  As such there may or may not have been an incident with a half-dead Lex Luthor.  Sakura couldn’t remember precisely and thought the event was of no consequence, but Superman thought otherwise.

He was such a strange man.

She didn’t see what the big deal was.  When Diana explained that they didn’t kill their enemies she _had healed_ the evil louse. 

Although she couldn’t remember clearly, she _may_ have beaten him again after she treated him, but she _didn’t_ leave any injury he couldn’t heal from on his own in time.  It was also possible that she could foil one of Luthor’s plans by merely showing up to battle.  But he would get over that!  She hadn’t harmed him since then…even if you could see on her face that a lot of times she wanted to. 

Some used the term menacing….

But whatever.

The problem was that the villain of the week thought it would be hilarious to whammy Superman with a love ray causing him to fall madly in love with…her.  And then he had the nerve to escape.  While Sakura could admit that it was probably a good thing that she couldn’t go looking for the guy (another Lex Luthor related incident would be unfortunate) she still wanted to find him and make him _pay._

Instead, she was stuck babysitting the man that hated/loved her.  Yay.

He was staring at her, and it was so different from the glare that she was accustomed to that it was scary. 

“Stop it!”  Sakura snapped, and when he looked sad, she regretted it. 

“Sorry.  I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.  It’s just that you’re so beautiful…”

Sakura felt her cheeks heat. 

She had taken Superman home with her.  She lived life as Dr. Cymone Kostas.  She had her clinic which she worked in happily for the last three years.  She had been debating how to go into work with Superman in tow but hadn’t come up with any answers that didn’t involve jutsu, and if she was going to be seeing patients, she didn’t want to waste the chakra. 

“Thank you.”  Sakura buried her face in her hands.  She didn’t even know how long Wonder Woman and Batman would be gone.  Where would he even sleep?

Sometimes she _hated_ Diana. 

It was then that Sakura began to wonder whether or not she could heal him herself. 

“I love you.”

Sakura’s heart sped up.

❀❀❀

The fact that Superman hated her is _not_ Sakura’s only problem with the man.  The other problem is that she has been falling in love with the man since day one.  Which, to be honest, she doesn’t understand.  He’s a sanctimonious, self-righteous son of a bitch.  She told him so on more than one occasion.  _That_ may be part of the reason that Batman is so fond of her.  It also may be part of the reason why Superman hated her, but that’s neither here nor there.

The issue is that even though he has a stick wedged so far up his ass that not even the gods could pull it out, he’s a good man.  He’s always struggling to do what is best for everyone, ~~and Sakura loves him for—~~

She likes that a lot about him.  Sakura is also inordinately pleased with his ability to take a punch.  Maybe it’s an Amazon thing that she didn’t know about.  She’s been meaning to ask Diana, but then Diana would want to know why and she _is not_ telling Diana about her infatuation with Superman. 

~~She has a feeling she already knows.~~

The woman would tease her about it mercilessly.  And then the matchmaking would begin.  She’s already tried to set her up with Aquaman and while Arthur is an excellent lay he’s the King of the Atlantis and Sakura can’t live down there for extended periods.  She is a goddamned delicate flower, and she needs sunlight to fucking bloom.  ~~And don’t get her started on her need for air.  She can't breathez goodz underwater.~~

Not to mention she’s pretty sure her relationship with Superman went further down the toilet while she and Arthur were dating. 

Sakura’s confident it has something to do with the time Superman found them in that utility closet doing things that had nothing to do with utilities, and lots to do with kinky sex, but she’s not one hundred percent certain. Who knows with Superman?

✿✿✿

“No, you don’t.”  Sakura countered trying to laugh it off.

Superman nodded his head enthusiastically.  “I do.”

“Alright then.  What’s one thing you love about me—besides how I look.”

❀❀❀

 

 

Superman thinks she’s hot.  Not pretty.  Not beautiful but hot.  Sakura has seen the man walk into a wall because he’s staring at her so hard. Which is pretty hilarious when you think about it. 

 ~~Superman~~ ~~walking into walls.  Pfft!~~

 

Sakura gets it.  She’s shapely.  She’s exotic.  She’s flexible.  But even she knows that’s not enough for a man to fall in love with her.  Superman doesn’t know her.  What else could he have to say?  She needs him not to be able to say anything because otherwise, the time she spends with him is going to be more hellish than what she initially thought.

✿✿✿

“You’re brilliant.”

Sakura realized that wasn’t exactly news.  She wasn’t stupid.  She had been instrumental in stopping the Crime Syndicate when they invaded their world.  Oddly enough, Ultraman was, for some reason, very fond of her.  Hell, he hadn’t even taken her throwing him back to his world poorly but had instead indicated that she call him.

~~He was kind of cute.~~

But Sakura’s love of the bad boy died with Sasuke, and it wasn’t something she wanted to resurrect.  ~~Often.~~

Sakura arched a brow at Superman waiting for him to continue counting the ways that he loved her.  Waiting for him to realize how little he knew about her and therefore how foolish and misplaced his affection was. 

“You’re lonely—and no that’s not something I love about you.  I just…you don’t let it get you down.  You don’t stop living life to the best of your ability because of it.”

Sakura couldn’t stop herself from flinching because she was so very lonely.  No one knew anything about the ninja way in this world.  The only reason why she was coping was because of Diana.  While Diana wasn’t a ninja, she was an Amazon, and they had that bond.  They were sisters.  But it didn’t change the fact that some days she would give anything to hear Naruto’s loud, boisterous voice and see Kakashi reading one of his perverted books. 

Sakura, no longer able to meet Superman’s gaze, looked away. 

“You’re graceful but you still, somehow can’t dance.”

Sakura blinked, “How…?”  She wasn’t pals with Superman.  The only time they had any contact was when there was League business.  Even then Sakura did her best to avoid him because they were proving to be like oil and water.

Superman pulled at his ear and said, “I hear things.”

Which meant he was an eavesdropper.  Sakura narrowed her eyes at the man.

“I am not happy with you right now.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t help but listen when I hear things about you.  I want to know everything.”

“But why?  You _hate_ me.”

“I’ve never hated you.  You’ve exasperated me, annoyed me but I’ve never hated you.  How can I hate you when I love you so very much?”

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut and prayed that Diana and Batman came back soon because if they didn’t, she was going to take this man to her bed and start a clusterfuck of epic proportions. 

 

❀❀❀

 

Its bedtime and Sakura Haruno is a good person.  She is.  She is.  She is.  Superman removed his uniform and stood unselfconsciously in his underwear.   ~~She isn’t~~ ~~.~~ ~~She’s a horrible person who takes advantage of poor semi-naked superheroes.~~

 

“I think I have a shirt you can wear.”  Sakura wanted to curse herself as soon as the offer was out of her mouth.  Thankfully, Superman declined.

“I’m fine, but thank you for offering.”

Sakura blinked…yeah fine.  Sakura doesn’t think about what she said next.  It just slipped out.

“You’re welcome to join me in my bed.”

Superman grinned at her and—

 ~~Oh,~~ ~~sweet merciful heaven are those dimples?  Those are dimples.  Knees getting weak.  Panties on fire.  Call for help!  Sakura can’t handle this alone.  Her heart is going to explode….but what a way to die.~~

 

“I wouldn’t want you to think I was going to take advantage.” ~~Yes!  Do that thing you’re talking about.  *Swoons*~~   “I’ll be fine out here.” 

“If you’re sure then.” 

Sakura left Superman to sleep on her couch and retires to her bedroom to do the same.  But she doesn’t.

 

✿✿✿

 

When she stumbled into the kitchen in the morning he placed a cup of tea in her hands, and she muttered, “Thank Hera for Supermen.”

He chuckled and asked, “What are we doing today?”

Thankfully, it was Saturday, and she didn’t have to go to the clinic.  Her day was free to do as she pleased, so she was going to, “I’m going to go pick up a rock so that I can hide under it.”

Superman frowned.  He was still in his underwear, and he was packing _heat_.  ~~Yeah, she was definitely going to find that rock…~~

:::

Sakura was starting to think he was trying to seduce her—even if he said he wasn’t.  He hadn’t showered yet, and Sakura suggested that he head home and grab some clothes. 

“Are you coming with me?”

There was something about the way he said-- ~~why did her brain have to make everything filthy?~~

“…no.  I’m going to stay here.”

He frowned. 

“But I want you with me always.”

Sakura blinked back tears because that was dirty pool.  It was a low blow that tap danced on her romantic soul.  She tried to think of it as possessive and creepy but couldn’t summon the willpower to do so.  So instead she internally melted but outwardly she said, “Codependency is a bad thing.”

Puppy dog eyes shouldn’t be a real thing.  But on Superman’s face, they were, and Sakura began to swear inwardly as she prepared to leave. 

❀❀❀

  
Superman’s apartment was not what she expected. It was plain and sterile.  It didn’t look lived in.  It appeared to be the home of a man who was very lonely.

“No family?”

He blinked at her before shaking his head, “Ma and Pa live in Kansas.  I have a cousin too, but that’s about it.”

“A cousin.  I think I remember hearing about her.  Supergirl?”

Superman nodded 

“She’s pretty good.  I guess we both have that cousin thing going on.”

“Yeah, Diana, she…”

Sakura wondered at his hesitation.  What was it about Diana he wanted to say?  Superman shook his head and left to grab some clothes. 

The man would forever be an eternal mystery to her.

❀❀❀

  
The man was trying to make her jump him.  She knew they had packed him plenty of clothes, but he insisted upon walking about in hardly anything.  And Sakura’s eyes hungrily tracked his every movement. 

“Put some clothes on.”

“But you prefer me this way.”

Sakura huffed.  “Yeah, and some men prefer their women barefoot and pregnant, but that doesn’t make it right.”

Superman shrugged.  “It does if they both agree to it.”

❀❀❀

 

Sakura grew up in a small ninja village.  She was trained by one of, if not the strongest woman in the Five Shinobi Nations.  She became a force to be reckoned with in her right.  Then she moved on and lived with the Amazons who only intensified her training. 

There were a few things that Sakura Haruno felt that she couldn’t handle. 

Superman, waiting for her to ride him like a pony was one of them.

❀❀❀

 

Thankfully, she had only moved a few inches before Diana and Batman came barging in.  She hated them a little at that moment.  Especially when Superman gave her a lopsided grin like he knew exactly what she was thinking. 

“See Sakura!  I told you that you’d make it.”

Diana didn’t wait for Sakura’s reply.  She gestured for Batman to take the big ray gun and aim it at Superman. 

It was over quickly.  There was no cry of pain and the reversal of Superman’s affection.  He did look sheepish, and his first words were, “I feel like I should put on some clothes.”

Sakura disagreed, but she didn’t stop him.  Unfortunately, she made eye contact with Diana who was wiggling her eyebrows and glancing way too obviously at Superman for Sakura’s comfort. 

Sakura slapped her hands together.  “Well, I can’t say it hasn’t been fun.”  She could. It had been mortifying hearing Superman confess how much he loved her knowing that he didn’t.  “I will say you don’t have to go home, but you have to get the hell up out of here.”

Batman smirked at her, and they all shuffled to the door. 

“You should just—“

“Hush, Di!”  Sakura interrupted and was surprised when Batman leaned down and kissed her cheek.  Sakura blinked, stunned at the act.  “Uh,”  Sakura began confused.

“Goodnight.”  Batman’s gruff voice rumbled, and Sakura just nodded.  Diana left and took Batman with her leaving Superman to hang back. 

When Sakura took a moment to notice he was still there, she raised a brow. 

“Are you alright?”

Superman shifted.  “Yeah.  I just…you and Batman?”

“What?”  Sakura asked dumbly.

“He just kissed you.”

Sakura nodded.  “Yeah, he did.”

“How long have you two been together?”

Sakura really couldn’t believe she was having a conversation with Superman about her relationship status with Batman. 

“We’re not.”

“…not?”

“Superman, you and I both know that Batman is an asshole.  A loveable asshole but an asshole nonetheless.  Nothing is going on between the two of us.”

“But why would he—”

Sakura broke in.  “Asshole.”

“So you’re not…”

“Interested?”  Sakura would rock Batman’s world any day of the week.  But that might be too much information.  “Nope.”

Superman grinned at her.  “Then if I asked you out would you say yes?”

Sakura’s eyes narrowed.  “You hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“You avoid me like the plague.”

“I don’t like seeing you with other men.  And you’re always with other men.”

Sakura opened her mouth to deny that and then recalled the plethora of men that had been in her life since she had arrived in man’s world then shrugged. 

“I called you a self-righteous son of a bitch.”

Clark grinned.  “You also called me sanctimonious, and I’m still here.”

Sakura smacked her face.  “They didn’t fix the ray gun.”

“Sakura, I’m fine!  Why do you insist upon thinking I want nothing to do with you?”

She didn’t know.  Maybe it was because her luck with men had been nonexistent.  “Because you don’t.”

“I’m telling you otherwise.”

“And I don’t believe you.”

Superman growled.  “Must you always be this frustrating?”

Sakura thought about it for a moment before nodding.  “Yes.”

Superman stared at Sakura for a long moment before he started laughing.  “I’m not giving up.”

Sakura shrugged.  “As you wish.”

She hoped he didn’t give up.  ~~She had all the planz to make with his super sexy body.  And she still thought he was a million different kinds of adorkable but he didn't need to know that.~~


End file.
